Amid all the acronyms and jargon, propagandizing and lying, and delusional groupthink, it can difficult for most people (including me) to get a handle on events across the pond . However, one blogger has managed to clarify matters in hilarious fashion. In “The Laws of Economics for the Drinker and Banks,” reszatonline brings us the definitive guide to what went wrong in Europe.
Helga is the proprietor of a bar.
She realizes that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics
and, as such, can no longer afford to patronize her bar.
To solve this problem, she comes up with a new marketing plan that allows
her customers to drink now, but pay later.
Helga keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the
Word gets around about Helga’s “drink now, pay later” marketing strategy
and, as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Helga’s bar.
Soon she has the largest sales volume for any bar in town.
By providing her customers freedom from immediate payment demands, Helga
gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, she substantially increases
her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages. Consequently, Helga’s gross sales volume increases massively.
A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes that these
customer debts constitute valuable future assets and increases Helga’s
He sees no reason for any undue concern, since
he has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral!!!
Of course, you know how it ends (if not, click here to read the rest).
(Via Capitalogix with a hat tip to Andy.)
P.S. I try not to be too political at Financial Armageddon — mainly because I believe both sides have done an equally good job wrecking the American Dream — but this cartoon (again, via Capitalogix) was just too funny to pass up: